FathersStory's Blog

            With Stephen feeling better as he recovers from his first full blast of chemo, the focus turned to his brother Tom.  Remember in an earlier blog I said he was able to get four Rose Bowl tickets.  I told him to get them, on the chance that Stephen might be able to travel and that we might still be able to fulfill our goal of a family vacation over the holidays.

 

            But even though Stephen was getting better, the risks of him traveling just didn’t seem to be worth it.  One of the big dangers following a full week of chemo is the possibility of infection.  If he went, he would be around big crowds of people all weekend, and the risk wouldn’t be worth the reward.

 

            And besides, he probably would want to spend New Year’s at home with his friends, rather than 2,000 miles away.  Since we did have the tickets, I made offers to several people if they wanted to go, but by this time (right after Christmas), it was getting tough to make travel arrangements.

 

            My wife and I talked about this, and we concluded that it would be nice if at least one of us were able to be with Tom in California.  After all, it could be a once in a lifetime event, marching in the Tournament of Roses Parade and performing at the Rose Bowl.  She knew I was a big football fan, so she said I should go.  I asked if she wanted to go as well, and she said someone should stay here in case anything goes wrong.  And besides, with two 17-year-olds and New Year’s Eve approaching, some adult supervision would be prudent.  Always the voice of reason.

 

            So I started to make travel arrangements.  The flight wasn’t cheap, but the hotel wasn’t exorbitant.  Then I tried to make arrangements to be at all of the events where Tom would be performing.  One was a pep rally at the Universal City Walk.  That was no problem, because it was free.  He also was marching in parades at Disneyland and at Universal Studios.  The school was having a function at Universal, so I got a ticket for that.  And somebody at Disneyland was kind enough to get me a pass for a day.

 

            The big problem was getting a ticket to the parade.  I was able to get a media credential that enabled me to at least get some pictures as the parade passed.  But that would assure my seeing only a small portion of the parade.  At least, for the moment, it was better than nothing.

 

            The other problem was getting rid of the other three tickets I got for the football game.  Someone at work told me he knew someone who would take any extra tickets I had.  But that person got tickets in another way.  Fortunately, I talked to a neighbor who knew someone else from the neighborhood who was going out there.  I called him, and he sent out an e-mail to people he thought might be interested in going.  The day before I left, someone called and bought the tickets.  One small crisis averted.

 

            Tom had to be at school by midday on the Friday after Christmas for rehearsal.  The band would be leaving Saturday morning for California.  Tom actually left on Thursday because snow was forecast for Thursday night/Friday.  On that Friday, my wife and I went to see a movie.  On the way home, Tom called from Champaign, just checking in.   I told him how I would be flying out on Saturday, getting there in the evening.  I then gave my wife the phone to talk to him.  She said a couple of words, then gave me the phone back.  She was crying, and couldn’t say anything more.  Other than when we left Stephen when he was going for his operation, we were able to keep our emotions in check.   But after talking about the possibility of a family vacation for so long, emotion at this point took over.  It certainly was understandable.  But I felt so bad.  I offered for her to go in my place.  But she said I should go.

 

            The next day, my wife drove me to the airport.  It was a relatively quiet ride; I know the emotions of the moment still were hard on both of us, but especially her.  I got out of the minivan, and as I said good-bye, I again said I wished she were coming with me.  She again was on the verge of tears, and I really couldn’t blame her.

 

            I got out to California late Saturday.  I was staying at a hotel about eight miles from where Tom was, but I figured it was best to stay in that night.  On Sunday, I went to breakfast and to church, and then left for Universal City Walk.  The band marched in to a throng of people at the pep rally, playing all of the school songs.  It was a sight to see, but it was bittersweet for me.  I was glad someone was there from our family to see Tom perform, but I kept wishing that my family were here with me.

 

            I then made the trip to Disneyland and got a good vantage point for where the band would be performing before they would march through the park.  I met some other band parents and their families, including one whose son also played the sousaphone, like Tom.  They introduced themselves, and I told them of our situation, why I was the only one out there.  I had to catch myself a couple times to keep from letting my emotions get the best of me.

 

            Again, the band performed and marched in a parade.  Again, I was wishing my family were here to see this.  Once the band was done, they changed out of their uniforms, and Tom and I got a chance to spend some time together, taking a few rides.  By this time I really was glad someone was out there to see him, but it would have been so much fun to have the whole family out.

 

            The next day, New Year’s Eve, started with my making a trip to Pasadena to get my media credential for the parade.  It was strongly suggested to me that I pick it up the day before, because the crowds would be enormous the day of the parade.  Parking already was bad enough.  I went to the media building, picked up my credential, and then went to the location  where I would be.  It was down the parade route quite a bit, past where the TV cameras were set up.  This wasn’t the ideal situation.  So I made a mental note to try to buy a ticket for a seat.

 

            Later that day, the marching band performed at Universal.  Much the same at Disneyland, marching through the park. I again was able to spend some time with Tom afterwards, as we saw a couple of shows.

 

            We were seeing a show called “Waterworld” when my cell phone rang.  I didn’t hear it, because the phone was on vibrate.  Then Tom got a phone call.  It was my wife, saying she was taking Stephen to the hospital.

 

            My heart sank.  2,000 miles away, feeling helpless.  Next: what prompted the hospital trip, and a gesture of kindness.